My Survival Guide: 5 Things To Try When Life Seems Dark 

Everyone has their own recipe for handling life’s darker moments. For some, the best technique is distraction. Others need time with friends and family. Some wise ones go to therapy to work through the pain. 

Today I’m sharing what’s helped me. And as always – I hope it might help someone else who needs it right now.

I’ve had some heavy periods in my life, and I’ve tried to get through them in all sorts of ways – distractions, parties, shopping, eating, a new haircut, talking about it over and over until I can’t stand hearing myself anymore. Here’s my personal recipe for lightening the dark days.  

1. Feel your feelings – so when you’re done, you’re actually done.

Distractions can help, but only for a while. When something meaningful in your life hurts, it won’t go away just because you find a way to stop thinking about it.

For me, I have to feel my feelings. And it sucks – it might involve crying, distancing from people, or just hurting. But to continue on my journey, I need to go through the emotions – even though I don’t like them. This is the hardest step – but once I’ve done it, everything gets a bit easier. 

2. Do something different. 

I’ve noticed that I keep facing the same problems again and again – different situations, different people, different times – but the core issue stays the same. You know the saying: You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. So – do something different. Find a new perspective and try it. If you’re having the same argument with your partner, maybe it’s time to change your approach. If money is always tight, maybe try spending it differently. Whatever the crisis is – try a new route. It can be the most freeing and exciting thing: to realize you can change, and that changes everything.  

3. Remind yourself why you’re lucky.

Yes, it’s a cliché. But I promised to be honest. Gratitude is my number one tool for getting through anything. You can use a journal, a napkin, a document on your laptop, or just a note on your phone – that’s what I do. 

I sit for 10 minutes and write everything I’m grateful for – whatever pops into my mind: my parents, friends, birds singing, the sun, the autumn colors, the new Miley Cyrus song, my great hair, etc. You might think some of those things sound silly or “not worth” being grateful for. Forget all that. If it feels real to you – write it down. This isn’t for anyone else. It’s for you. The more bullet points, the better you’ll feel after. Try it – and be creative. It works for me every single time. 

4. Find a purpose. 

This one isn’t easy, but it’s key to feeling better. For me, happiness means having a dream and working toward it. And I think life gets darker when you don’t have a dream. The truth is – you do have one. You’re just too sad, angry, or tired to see it right now. So give yourself time. Ask yourself:

• What would make me feel excited again?
• What do I miss in my life?
• What’s my oldest dream, the one I’ve almost forgotten about?
• What do I really want to do?
• Where do I really want to be?

Write it down, if that helps. It might take time, but when it comes, you’ll know. You can’t miss your new purpose – it’ll light you up. You’ll feel joy. And maybe a bit of fear – the good kind.  

5. Start over. 

This might sound like the hardest step, but trust me, it’s the most natural one.

• Just wake up.
• Make your bed.
• Eat something.
• Stretch, do some yoga, move your body.
• Then start over – your career, your relationships, your life. 

It’s never too late to begin again. I truly believe that. I’ve started over so many times, it’s kind of become a hobby. It’s one of the most exciting things you can do. Whatever you dream of, you can make it real. Step by step, with hard work and a strong belief that it’s possible for you.  

Bonus thought:

Lately I’ve found it helpful to remind myself of a fundamental truth about life. It’s a total cliché, but oh my God, it’s true: “Everything is in a state of flux – constantly changing and evolving.” So remember: nothing lasts forever – not even the dark times.  

I know all of this might sound obvious. But at different points in my life, I needed to hear these things. And maybe someone out there needs to hear them now. I sincerely wish you to get through your dark days with ease – and enjoy the brighter moments fully.

And just a reminder – this article is not a replacement for professional help. It’s just me, sharing what’s worked for me. If you’re feeling really low, depressed or overwhelmed – please reach out to a professional and talk to someone. You don’t have to go through this alone.